Dec. 19, 2018: Someone recently wrote this to me:
"Please know there is someone else out there in the world who finds your words to be a breath of fresh air, as they say. You are talented with a gift of explaining things that there were times in my life that I believed were impossible to explain to anyone."
Version 4.10, Jan. 12th, 2019: One more addition.
Version 4.00, Nov. 13th, 2018: One crucial addition!
Version 3.70, Nov. 2nd, 2018: 1 addition more.
Version 3.60, Sep. 28th, 2018: 2 additions.
(Draft) Version (3.00), Aug. 08th, 2018
Version 2.00, May 19th, 2018
Version 1.10, Nov. 11th, 2017
Version 1.00, Nov. 03rd, 2017
NB! This is an obsolete version! You can find the current version here!
|Addition in version 4.10, January 12, 2019:|
This is an excerpt of A short description of my self:
(NB: Earlier versions of this text had the somewhat provocative title "Do women want ageing and death?")
2 'opposing' types of orgasm
Already at that time, I could sense that, on the whole, humans can use the sexual power / the sex energy in 2 fundamentally different ways - 2 'opposing' ways. This means that both men and women overall can experience 2 fundamentally different types of orgasm. I call them release orgasm and transformation orgasm. It is thus a question of how you perceive and choose to use the sexual energy.
Sexual energy / sexuality is one of the ways the universe's creative power or energy can express itself. We - or more precisely our souls - emerged because God the Father and God Mother had orgasms!
If a person (consciously or unconsciously) identifies himself with his current physical form/body and believes in that idea and all the constraints that this locked form implies, automatically you are stuck in that form, thus creating ageing, diseases, death and memory loss. In that way, your sexual experiences will automatically be characterized by what I call release orgasms, which are characterized by the man having sperm ejaculation, and the woman having ovulation and menstruation.
From a larger spiritual perspective, the problem with this form of orgasm is, that the participants lose their sexual energy, which is emotional energy, ie. our vitality/vigour. In other words, when a man ejaculates, he loses vitality. And when a woman has ovulation and menstruation, she loses vitality. This leads to aging, diseases, death, etc., etc.
An important detail in this regard is that the man can easily have a sperm ejaculation without experiencing what I would call an orgasm… Just like the woman can easily ovulate (and have menstrual periods) without experiencing orgasms…
Transformation orgasm - spiritual transformation through sexuality and orgasm
The interesting thing is that the opposite also applies: A man can have orgasm without having a sperm ejaculation at the same time, and a woman can have orgasms without ‘needing’ to have ovulations and menstruations! That is the transformation orgasm. But it requires that you consciously have a completely different approach to the sexual energy. Namely, the attitude of accumulating it and letting it accelerate its vibration frequency, whereby it accelerates the vibration frequency of the body and the emotions, whereby your awareness and understanding of yourself and life, etc. expand. And in the end, you transform and heal your body and soul, which become immortal.
So the transformation orgasms occur when you let the (sexual) energy and thus the body and the emotions and your consciousness express themselves, accelerate their vibration rate and expand on their own terms, instead of (deliberately or unconsciously) retaining them within the limitations, conditions and judgmental misunderstandings of your mind.
In that case, the orgasm experience spreads to the whole body, and the whole body can shake - almost a bit like an epileptic seizure - and the emotions transform into love and your consciousness and understanding of yourself, life, death, the Creator and the Creation begin to expand. In this way, the sexual energy becomes a driving force in the spiritual and physical development and transformation and healing of the individual and humanity.
So if you want to transform and heal body and soul, in order to realize your full potential and achieve immortality, you choose to experience transformational orgasms instead of release orgasms, and men cease to ejaculate sperm and women cease to have ovulation and menstruation.
Our soul's true potential
Our essence - our soul - has potential for so much more than our current physical form - the human body, with its ageing and death, etc. Our potential is immensely much greater.
When you want to realize that potential, and thereby eliminate ageing, illness, death, memory loss, etc., you choose to accumulate and transform the sexual energy, instead of projecting or wasting it out into ejaculation of semen, ovulation/menstruation and offspring/children. We can always have all the children we may want when we have abolished ageing and death, etc.!
Ultimately, this transformation is both a physical, emotional and spiritual transformation. I try to explain all that in detail in my central text The Transformation - about mankind's situation and possibilities here on my website. If you really want to understand what I am talking about, you have to read that text.
Multiple orgasms - both for men and women!
A man who wants or understands the necessity of spiritual transformation can have multiple transformation orgasms during one sexual intercourse without a single ejaculation. I have experienced it!
It is obvious to me that all women must have the same ability.
The problem for both women and men is that we have a lot of unconscious judgmental and locking misunderstandings, internal conflicts between the intellect and the emotions, blockages, trauma, etc., that prevent the sexual energy from accelerating and expanding and therefore prevent us from easily experiencing this very different form of orgasm. But I do not believe that it's impossible for some, because they lack a so-called "G-spot" or something else.
I feel that sex is a bit like skiing: Sometimes you fall, especially in the beginning or when you meet "new pistes"... :-) The problem is that the way most people have sex corresponds somewhat to skiing with the purpose of falling...!
I explained much of this already in 2008 in the short text Both men and women can experience 2 fundamentally different types of orgasm.
A lot of spiritual teachers through the ages have been able to see that the sexual energy / sexuality can lead to pain and something destructive. But it's not the sexual energy itself that's destructive! The sexual energy is, as I have said, the creative force of the universe itself. It is our many (unconscious) judgmental misunderstandings that force the sexual energy / sexuality to express itself in destructive ways or forms!
Our most fundamental misunderstandings
Ageing, illness, pain, death, memory loss and reincarnation will disappear once we have discovered, acknowledged and released all the unconscious judgmental and locking misunderstandings that limit us and create all our problems. Psychopaths, violence, war, oppression etc. will, of course, also disappear in the same process.
Since we – humans – have not already abolished ageing and death etc. a long time ago by letting go of misunderstandings, you can logically deduce that we have some very fundamental misunderstandings that we are quite convinced are truths, and that most people seem to rather want to die than having to acknowledge and release those misunderstandings! You might want to “digest” that realization before you read my above mentioned text The Transformation.
25 years ago, I met my “wife” – Maria. I think at least 7 years have passed since she and I tried to have sex – without much luck... More specifically in April 2011. But already then, several years had past, since we had something that I would call a sex life.
What is the problem and why do I write “wife” in quotes?
My problem is that Maria – my “wife” – never wanted to participate in the above-mentioned process of recognition and transformation, and thereby get into real contact with me. In short, she only wants to have contact with me on the condition that I'm not me, and that I instead let her push, threaten or manipulate me into the role of a person who is very different from me. In other words, that I submit to the idea that the Creator wants us to age and die...
|Addition in version 4.00, November 13, 2018:|
Before I try to explain the whole 'story of suffering', that my relationship with Maria has been, I will give you the good news:
Now I can finally move on with my life!
Thus, on Sunday, November 11, 2018, I gave Maria the following letter:
I hereby finally give up on trying to get in real contact with you.
Even before I met you, I actually knew what I want with my life, even though I was not able to express myself as clearly as now.
But our problem is not how well I am able to express myself!
Our problem is that you have never wanted to understand what I want with my life, and which I actually already wanted before I met you!
In other words: You've never wanted to allow me to get in real contact with you!
When a woman marries a man who knows what he wants and he does not in any way try to hide what he wants, then, in my opinion, it is that woman's task - actually her duty - to have a sincere desire to understand what it is he wants, and once she has understood that, she can either choose to participate actively, consciously and sincerely in the 'project' or leave him!
But instead, you chose to marry a somewhat random man, and then use all your efforts to try to pressure, threaten, force and manipulate that man - me - to submit to your - very ordinary, average, and dogmatic - ideas about what ‘one’ has to do when you are married.
Therefore, our "marriage" has actually been one long quarrel, in which I have tried to explain to you what I want, and which I had already decided to dedicate myself and my life to, before we met, and you have used all your efforts to try to pressure, threaten, force and manipulate me into becoming another - more ordinary and average - man.
But right now is the time when I finally give up on getting in real contact with you!
Thus, this letter is a statement of the fact that we have never really had a real relationship or love relationship. Simply because you've never wanted to have real contact with me and understand what I really had already decided is the purpose of my life, before I met you.
I promised you to help you get a residence permit for Denmark. And I have fulfilled that promise.
In return, I had hoped that you had a sincere desire to understand what I want. But you have completely trashed that hope...!
So from now on, our "marriage" is a temporary and purely legal "construction", because you have chosen to block, shut your mind to, and hinder all other options. Therefor I no longer feel any kind of obligations to you, except for the (mutual) financial obligations that marital law imposes upon us, because it does not take into account women marrying a man without wishing to have real contact with him...
The reason I write to you instead of just talking to you is, of course, all my very painful experiences of you always reacting with rage, threats, hysteria and manipulation whenever I try to get in contact with you. And thus you interrupt and hinder any kind of real communication.
If you want to avoid all the details of the long 'story of suffering' of me and Maria, then jump directly to the last paragraph of this text – which starts with NB!
And then you'll probably ask: Well, why did you marry her?
I wanted to get to know her, and for that purpose, I felt it would be very practical that she was here in Denmark... And since she was from Peru, she could only stay in Denmark if she married 'someone'. So in order to get to know her, I had to marry her first. Most Danes have the advantage of doing the 2 things in the opposite order, which of course is a lot more logical, constructive and sensible. That became my big tragedy. Because Maria has never wanted to understand what I feel and want. In other words, she has never really wanted to have real contact with me. But I did not understand that until after I signed the marriage contract at the City Hall.
But why have we never divorced?
That question may be a bit more intricate.
I have never concealed anything about what I feel and want – nor before we got married!
Maria, on the other hand, apparently thought – and may still believe today – that she can threaten me to either follow orders and submit to her ideas of what you 'have to do' when you are married or to try to escape her – i.e. seek divorce. And I've been on the point of doing the latter. Now – in the painful clarity of hindsight – I can see, that if I seek divorce, the logical, ethical, and emotional problem is, that in that case I am deciding – on her behalf – that she does not want to have contact with me... And that cannot create a real redemption and clarification of everything.
And why do I publish all these personal problems in an open letter here on my website?
That, of course, is also a somewhat tiresome story...
As you can probably understand, through all the years I've known Maria, I've done everything I can, to try to explain to her what I feel and want – and which I actually already felt and wanted before I met her, though perhaps I was not able to word it just as clearly as I am now. For many years, I had the extremely naive idea, that if I just got better at understanding and thus expressing what I feel and want, then one day she would say “Aha! – Now I understand what you want!” And then she would either say “Yes! I want that too!” Or she would say “No! I want a divorce!” A rational, logical and constructive person would act like that... But apparently women are not always rational!
Instead, it seems as if she sees it as the purpose of her life to try – by the use of rage, threats, hysteria and manipulation – to choke me and my desire for transformation and healing of our bodies and souls and the creation of a whole new world. And in reality she has been quite successful with that until now...
To make a long story short, telling my story to 'the whole
world', in this open letter, is the only way to progress, that I can
see at the moment. But it probably requires that someone reading
this letter respond to it.
|Addition in version 3.50:|
I will try to explain more precisely why I have not yet been able to solve the conflict between myself and Maria:
The problem is that Maria consistently draws everyone else in 'between us' either as 'a wall' or 'a club' by consistently claiming that everyone, even my family and my friends, think, like her, that I am insane or something like that, and that therefore she has the right to ignore, deny and manipulate everything I say - and if necessary use rage, threats, hysteria and manipulation in order to stifle me or make me shut up - every time I try to express what I feel and want, and actually already felt and wanted before I met her, although I might not have been able to express myself just as clearly at the time.
Therefore, I have to find out if my "friends" and my family actually think I'm sick in my head, as Maria consistently claims that you think, because in that case you are not my friends - but maybe Maria's(?) But if you do not think I'm sick in my mind, then some of you will have to step forward and make it clear to Maria that it's ridiculous that she claims that you think so and that she believes it gives her the right to ignore, deny and manipulate everything I say. And if she really thinks I'm sick in my head, then it's the wrong man she's married to...!
Otherwise, you have in fact, in Maria's eyes, chosen to confirm that I am sick in my head and that therefore she has the right to use all her efforts to try to choke me by ignoring, denying and manipulating everything I say.
This is the reason why I have not been able to solve
the problem myself, but need help from friends and family - if I
have any friends and family...?
|Addition in version 3.60, September 28, 2018:|
Several people have interpreted my writings as if I want someone to convince Maria that she must do something specific or participate in something that has a specific purpose or something like that.
That's not exactly what I'm trying to say. What I would really want some help with, is to make Maria realize that I actually already knew what I wanted before I met her and that I have never tried to hide what I want and that she has to decide if that is the kind of man she wants or if she has to realize that it was the wrong man she married and that she will never be really happy with me and really is wasting both her and my time!
And, of course, you can start by telling me and her if you think - as she claims - that she has the right to consistently try to choke me by ignoring, denying, and manipulating everything I say, because she thinks I am insane (or however she chooses to word it)!
Thanks in advance!
|Addition in version 3.70, November 2, 2018:|
In October I sent the following to friends and family in Denmark:
Maria - my "wife" - has
once acknowledged that she never wanted to understand or participate
in what I want with my life – and which I already wanted
before I met her and which I have never tried to hide that I
In that light, we could get a divorce now, without me forever having deposited all my self-respect with her. But because I know how manipulative and denying she is, I would like her to admit it when witnesses are present. Otherwise, she will probably just deny that she ever said it…
But until now there are only 2 people among my so-called "friends" and
"family", who have either tried or will try
to get in touch with her.
(The following is only really relevant if you live in Denmark: This is probably your last chance of ‘joining’ the ‘team’ who wants to do something actively to help me get vindication and establish a real balance between Maria and me! Otherwise - in the eyes of Maria - you have automatically chosen to support her in her "right" to use all her efforts to try to suffocate me...)
NB! Before publishing this letter, of course I gave Maria a copy of it and gave her the opportunity to respond to it. In brief, the result of that was that – for God knows what time – she repeated that I'm insane and that she does not want to listen to all my crazy ideas and that if I want to leave her, I can just do so, because she does not care. So, in a sense, this text is a somewhat extraordinary form of contact advertisement. And as such, it should contain my email address – – and an up-to-date photo of me. The picture below was taken in the autumn of 2017, when I gave the presentation “The Creation of The Universe – The Intentions and the Cause of All The Problems”. I have already discussed this subject in several texts and videos here on my website, but in the near future I will probably publish a recording of this lecture here on my website.
I look forward to hearing from anyone who feels the urge to respond to this text.
Thanks in advance.
Notes about the Facebook Comments Box above:
Note 1: January 2019:
The Facebook Comments Box plugin I use here on my website is TERRIBLE!
I just discovered that Facebook is hiding many comments on several pages. I don’t know for how long time they have been hidden - probably for years...! And on top of that, some comments were deleted by Facebook about 4 years ago...!
I VERY much regret that I chose fb-comments and not something else.
I HAVE sent bug reports to Facebook about all these problems, but they didn’t really want to solve anything!: Facebook comments-box Bug Reports
Note 2: If your comment disappears the moment you try to post it, it's because you need to allow pop-up windows and cookies from facebook.com...!
Note 3: If you can't see the Facebook Comments Box here - where you can write comments and read the comments of others,
and you are using Firefox, then it's probably because you have Firefox Tracking Protection turned ON. Firefox Tracking Protection regards
the Facebook Comments Box plugin as invasive to your privacy... I am sorry that I don't have a comments-system that is not regarded as invasive
to your privacy by Mozilla.org (and Disconnect.me). You can turn Tracking Protection OFF by clicking on the Tracking-icon
near the upper left corner of the Firefox browser window, next to the web address URL-field.
This issue is currently being tracked by Mozilla at https://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_bug.cgi?id=1226498.